drivin' miss daisy circa 2006

drivers who try to drive while using a cell phone. this blog is for you!

for those of you who drive--or more specifically who can't drive--while on your cell phones i pose this question: is there some sort of disconnect between your feet and your mouth? seriously. why is it when you're talking on the phone you are completely incapable of driving at the speed limit. hell, i'm not asking you to drive at mock speeds, i'm not even asking you to drive slightly above the speed limit, i'm merely suggesting you go the appropriate speed limit for the appropriate surroundings.

this morning a gentleman driving a royal blue chevy malibu (no, not the vintage 1970's model, but the modernized "why the hell would they bring it back and change the entire make-up of the car" X-Files model) was so busy chattin' on his pre-paid cell phone that my speedometer actually read 35mph on the I-405 freeway. with NOBODY in front of him.

when i honked to indicate, "hi there sir. you are not the only one on this particular road this morning so can you please move it along..." not so much as a flinch. he kept on keepin' on. drivin' like it was a sunday on the back roads of arkansas. there was a part of me that wanted to throw my cracker peanut at him - but, this fatty was not about to waste a perfectly good peanut. please. what's sense is there in that?

the thing that really gets me though is parking while on the phone. in a huge car. in a compact spot. you've got drivin' miss daisy parking the continental in a dodge neon size spot and taking his sweet time maneuvering a 12 point turn. it makes standing in line at the dmv (and we all know that misery don't we) look less painful that a bikini wax.

what's worse? hands free. do i need to break out the webster? HANDS. FREE. free of hands, no hands, no need for hands. why on earth are you holding that little wire up next to your mouth. the thing is made so that you don't have to a) hold it near your lips and b) scream.

while you're looking up the words hands free in the dictionary you might want to try your luck at looking up the word selfish.

thats all. we return you to your regularly scheduled programming.