kelly does amy lee... er i mean, amy lee's house.

oops she did it again. and no i'm not talking about britney's snatch.

i'm talking about none other than america's sweetheart - ms. kelly clarkson. it seems clarkson is racking up quite the rep as becoming america's new wild child. or is she?

there i was last night all set to write a full page on kelly clarkson's stint as "heavy metal goddess" when what do my wandering eyes discover but a video on youtube.com. and not just any video; this video is like a checklist from the movie porky's: toilet paper, kelly clarkson, vandalism, kelly clarkson, breakin' stuff, kelly clarkson, porn stars, kelly clarkson and THE porn star of them all RON JEREMY!

what is this girl doing to me? she's making my job too easy! and while i told myself i would never let this blog turn into another lame attempt at Pink is the New Blog, i just couldn't stay away from this story.

nrg studios. there have been whispers that it's a wild and crazy place. often times it's filled with nekkid people and at any given time you might find yourself staring at a one eye snake by accident. it's kind of like a frat house only with less football players! and the beer on tap isn't pabst blue ribbon or rolling rock.

but did we know that the studio could turn our most beloved pop princess into a vandalism virtuoso? i mean, not only did she toilet paper someone's house... but that someone just happens to be amy lee from the famous band evanescense. (this is where i use my descretion so i won't say how f'in hilarious it was... oh wait, i think i just said it. i'm horrible at keeping my aprobation to myself.) seriously folks, what could be better than kelly f'in clarkson toilet papering amy lee's house? what? there's no going forward from here. let's just stay awhile and bask in the glory shall we?

ok, ok, i get it, i get it... you were being a good friend. *insert sarcasm here* but didja havta throw an entire bag in the middle of her lawn?

word of advice to ms. clarkson. continue just as you are honey. because no matter what you do, whether it be drinking whiskey on stage at a metal skool show, or toilet papering amy lee's house you still have the chops to sing 'em all out of the water and that's all that matters.

although, if i find myself having to write a piece about your snatch i will most definitely hunt you down and smack you - and not in a good way!