keebler elves aren't in the kitchen making cookies anymore...

there have been reports recently of the keebler elves hangin' with snap, crackle and pop in elevators shafts. what are they doing there? making your elevators move a little bit faster!

i know i've imagined small men in elevator shafts sending messages to one another, "alright folks, someone pushed the button on the parking level 1, let's move it." but hello that was in my youth – i can't imagine that in reality pushing that button for the 2nd or 3rd time is going to make the elevator get to your floor any faster. it's computer generated, there are no little men in there!

i just can't get off of this elevator "thing." tell me, does being stuck in a little box (or the apprehension of being in a little box) cause a person to completely lose all intelligence?

why do people push the up/down button when it's already lit up??? can you not see 5 people standing there? did you not see me push it just 5 seconds before? yesterday a man went LITERALLY right behind me and pushed the button after i did. i had to stop myself from a diva style outburst. um, dude, i just pushed the button and i'm pretty sure elevators aren't biased – it recognized that i pushed the button there's no need to do it again. it's illuminated isn't it?

while we're on the subject of button pushing – crosswalks? how many times have you walked up to a crosswalk and people are standing there waiting to cross the street? probably more times than not right. then why must you push the button again? do you think those people standing there are sun-bathing? do you think they are taking a survey on how many blue cars go through the intersection – NO! they are crossing the street just like you! and i'm almost positive they've already pushed the damn button.

i've determined y'all - and when i say y'all i mean YOU the button pushers - are control freaks. you have to be able to say, in your head, "I pushed that button. I made the change happen." well, get over yourself! relax! have faith that if we're standing there, if the button is lit up, if you've just witnessed me push the button... it's all good you don't have to do a damn thing!